Most people know the famous line from the movieNetwork, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!”
That is the line running through my head fast and furious right now. And I have no one to blame but myself.
I am going to run a Classified Ad in my Local Paper that says:
Lost: Sassy, some what bitchy, good-looking, happy, loveable, sweet and sincere woman. Was seen sometime around 2 years ago. Considerable Reward. Family and Friends miss her!
If I could have her back this very second, I would. But that person is now lost and has been replaced with a woman who is naive, wishy-washy, a sucker and someone who does not learn from her mistakes. As I am on my journey to being who I used to be, someone more fierce and sassy will be born. Someone who takes no prisoners and will not be devalued by some man who thinks he’s all that.
My friends, family and myself consider me to be of considerable intelligence. I have an IQ high enough to be in Mensa, am an avid reader, take pride in keeping up with current events and has knowledge on a host of subjects. I have read the Encyclopedia twice just for the hell of it, and have successfully held a career where a multitude of co-workers and my Superiors have garnered me Awards and High-Praise.
Not saying this to pat myself on the back. Just the opposite. How can someone with success in the world be so idiotic when it comes to her private life.
Blue Eyes and I were supposed to spend a nice evening with his son tonight watching the Pacquiaou fight. Earlier in the day I had frank discussions with two people very close to me. This discussion turned to my relationship with Blue Eyes and how things are progressing. They asked if he has once made the trip down to my home to see me (he hasn’t), if we really go out at all (no, we really don’t at all), and a host of other questions.
And it dawned on them, and they said so frankly because they love me, that this man is not the one for me. He does not truly care or else he wouldn’t put the onus on me for traveling, would take me out, would not put conditions on anything regarding our relationship. And you know what, they are right!!
Besides the fact of the responses I received from my blogger friends regarding him asking me to see TDWF to confirm I do not have any feelings about him.
It was all I could think about today. So tonight before I was supposed to go over, I confronted him about my points of contention. And as expected, the nasty insults began to fly. And as someone I talked to today said before our huge fight, “People like that don’t change. If he thinks and says these things, they are not going to change his mindset just because he hasn’t said them in a while.”
So needless to say, he is not worthy of me. I told him that he is trying to bring me down and wants me to backslide to that sad and irrational woman I was just a couple of months ago. But I have too much respect for myself. I have too much love for myself to let some piece of useless , pathetic excuse for a man drag me down again.
I have been down that road before, and I realized self-worth and a life of loneliness would be a hell of a lot better than lowering myself to someone who uses insults and derogatory comments to build himself up. I don’t need sex that bad!!
The favor I ask my fellow bloggers is, if you ever see me mention I went on a date with him again, you now have the right to KICK ME IN THE ASS!! Promise I won’t press charges, it is rightly deserved!!