As of late, I’ve had a difficult time finding inspiration for my writing. Things come and go in my mind, and yet the blank white screen continues to stare back at me. It is all a process, and one night soon I hope to be awakened by the Writing Gods and my fingers will go non-stop clicking the keys of my keyboard.
It’s probably just a let down from the holidays, and all the busyness that comes with them. And now I am left in bed with the flu/cold, and my brain to fried to come up with a coherent sentence, let alone a blog worthy of hitting the “Publish” button.
This is also coupled with the fact that I just found out my grandmother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. And all the crazy, scary and sad feelings that come with that. And also regret. Her birthday was Sunday, and I was so tired from my long and late night date with “The Bouncer” that the day got away from me and I never got a chance to call her. As of right now, she seems like she is okay, and I hope that continues for her. At the young age of 89, she has been dealt a lot, but is also one of the most active women I know. Even if her age has slowed her down only a little.
And I am mad at myself that today was “Mr. New York’s” birthday, and I managed to wish him a Happy Birthday after everything he did to me, yet did not get a chance to someone who has been good to me my whole life.
But she is a fighter, and I know this will be another obstacle she’ll wage a big battle against.
Did not make matters any easier that my brother, probably in his drug-induced haze, called her hysterical late last night, said he was driving up to see her, and no one has heard from him since. Hopefully he is okay, but he wants and likes when we worry about him.
All of these events have let me trying to gather my thoughts and say a little prayer for my grandmom.
So it makes it a little easier and less stressful now, that despite my runny nose, achy joints, headache…..I have my follow-up job interview tomorrow. It all is put in perspective when there is other people dealing with a lot worse in their life. Will just go in, tissues in hand and my best concealer to hide my red nose, and do my best.
The only thing not stressful in life right now is “The Bouncer.”
So all in all, when I look at what other people are going through, I would say I’m pretty lucky.