Sleep evades me a lot. Always been a night owl, but lately it has turned into an annoying case of insomnia. I watch the clock reach 2am, then 3am. It is during these moments where the mind starts wandering. Wandering to a time of the past and turns to the future. Who I’ve met this past year and the influences they had in my life.
I grabbed my journal, wanting to compose letters to all of those who’ve entered my life. Thanking everyone, even in the bad times, for what they have taught me about myself. But, I turned this letter into a letter to me. For it was me who succumbed to any sort of power I let them have. And it was only me who came out on the end a better person.
Dear Old You,
This year was a transformative year for you. The year where your pure and open heart let in people who have caused you pain. But you were not a victim of what transpired. You were an active participant. Although you knew you were in for more you could handle, you also knew the love and comfort you provided would come with a price. And a hefty one at that.
It opened up a wave of pain from the people you thought you loved the most and who loved you. And for the first time, a realization came upon you that people’s intention were not pure. The more you give, the more they take. And no matter how much love you give, it will always be used as a weapon against you.
But I am not telling you anything you don’t know. You have always loved with all your heart and soul. Those qualities are what endears you to so many. As you also realize now, love sometimes is not enough. Love is not enough to piece together someones weaknesses or change the person they are inside.
Learn from your past so you can build a better future!
Yet you continue to love, continue to give and continue to hope and dream there is someone who will dive deep into your soul and find these fortunes.
So to The Old You, be blessed that all you have encountered this year has not altered those kindnesses that are buried in your heart. Just protect them more and be less ready to give all you have to offer until the right person is ready to receive them.
But on the flip side, also be more open and less judgemental to all you encounter. Do not let anger and resentment follow you and hold you back. And be open to taking responsibility for your part in your past mistakes. Because that is when you will learn the most.
You built yourself back up from the brink, and now you have the tools ready for your transformation to be complete.
Transformation Accomplished!
Love always,
The New Me
May I send a copy of this to my Old Me? So very well written! Your old you is lucky to have the new you!
You sure can!! And thank you for your nice comments. My Old Me has learned a lot this past year. Hope it brings you peace and happiness!
I like this. I think I will do that, but I will have to keep mine private as there are parts of this last year that I can’t let out yet.
Thank you so much. And I understand about wanting to keep some parts private. But it feels good after you write it and realizing all that has happened this past year.
I imagine it does
Insightful and hopeful letter to one’s self!
Thank you so much!
This is an awesome post!
Thanks so much!! Realized this year I learned a lot about myself that I didn’t want to lose track of. Sure you can say the same my friend. I hope you are doing well!
Wonderful post. To learn, to remain loving and open, that’s a really big thing and not so easy sometimes. I was curious to learn more about you so I read some really old posts. You have been through some very high level learning experiences, aka some really tough times. I hope this coming year is better with people who lift you up and give you some easier lessons.
Thank you so much!! Yes, has been quite the interesting year and have taught me a lot of learning lessons. My friends and family say I’m to forgiving and open to whomever needs my help. But I don’t know any other way. But I have now learned through all my troubles, to only help the ones I know are good for me and who are also there to help themselves. Thanks for you kind comments. I really do appreciate them!
So true..I’ve learn’t never to carry on past hurts,never to make someone else pay for another’s mistake, and to never forget how awesome people can be no matter how many people make you think otherwise. Merry Christmas have a great one! Claire x
I try (now) to live by those principles. It just makes life so much easier. There are great people in this world, and just try to focus on them now. Merry Christmas to you to!
While I detest insomnia ( I get those bouts alot too), it does fuel creativity and this “Letter to you” proves it. Very wise, insightful and confident.. We all could stand to write ourselves because when it’s in front of us in ink seems to resonate more..
You are on a good path my friend and 2013 will be a most wonderful year for YOU!!!!!
Thank you! And insomnia sucks!
But it does fuel creativity, so I always keep my journal close to me for that reason. It is good to put all of that on paper as a way to look back and realize how far we have come. It is helpful. And it will be a wonderful year for BOTH of us!
Wonderful letter!
Congratulations on becoming the New You! 
Thank you so much!
I really like your blog so I nominated you for some awards. If you want to send them along to some of your favorite bloggers, follow this link for more info.
http://thepanamaadventure.wordpress.com/2012/12/26/awards/
If you just want to enjoy them yourself, that’s fine too. You can also find the graphics for your blog at that link.
Thanks for having such a find blog! Best wishes and Happy New Year.
Aah, thanks so much! You don’t know how thankful I am for you thinking of me!! I’ll be sure to post these. I am glad you enjoy my blog as much as I enjoy yours! Thanks again. And Happy New Year to you too!
Hope you are doing okay Rachel
Thank you Alastair. I am doing great. Hope you are too!
What a beautiful letter! Once again, here you are writing my blog for me
Bless you, for having such an open, loving heart. You have given much even though it cost. Someone is going to cherish all that you have to give & dish it right back to you one day. Have a great year! I can’t wait to see where this year takes you on your journey 
Great minds think alike!! And I wish nothing but the best for you in the coming year!! It will be a great one for the both of us!!
I like the idea of writing a letter to the OLD ME…I should do that sometime! Great post, and YOU’VE BEEN NOMINATED FOR BLOGGER OF THE YEAR! Congrats! Check it out at: http://tenaciousbitch.com/2013/01/03/star-awardblog-of-the-year/
Thank you so much for the nomination. You don’t know how much I appreciate it!! And writing the letter is very helpful. At least for me it was. Made me realize all I would like to change, and also keep, about myself for the upcoming year!! Thanks again my friend!
I loved this! I had to come back and read it again! This is the perfect time to write to our old selves and you did it so eloqently! I did it a few months ago myself. I think that we should all do it periodically! Great letter! Thanks for sharing!
Here is mine….
http://dianereedwiter.wordpress.com/2012/11/18/letter-to-my-nine-year-old-self/
That is so sweet for you to say and thank you for your kind words. I am honored that you enjoyed it and came back to read. I periodically have read it back to myself a few times this year to not forget how I want to live my life and remember the lessons learned. And thank your for the link to yours. It was such wonderful advice you wrote to you younger self and also able to share with your grandaughter. Simply beautiful.
What a wonderful letter! So soothing to read your words as they echo my sentiments. This last year has shown me many changes too, I only wish I had been smart enough to recognize a few of the disasters before they happened. I may use your letter idea for myself… I am interested to know what I might tell my younger self and I may even compose one to my old self for the future!! What advice would I give the old me? =)
Thanks so much for your kind comments. It definitely has helped me already this year to not repeat past mistakes.
What advice I could give you about writing to your younger self is telling her what you realized is good and bad in life. And based on what you are proud of yourself for and mistakes you may have made, just offer her advice on how not to repeat or things to do that makes life easier.
As far as to the older you, make it the goals you wish to accomplish and where you would like your life to be. Seeing it written down makes it easier to accomplish.
Good luck with the letter and I can’t wait to read it.