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New Year. Clean Slate.

The year 2013 is now at an end and a fresh one has begun. Would I change anything from 2013? I sure would. But every experience taught me something and brought me further to my goal of the type of person I want to be.

Do I still have work to do? Sure I do. Am I close to being the type of person I am striving to become? That is still up for debate. But it is a process and a road I look forward to taking.

New adventures await. New goals to accomplish. And new people to broaden my scope on how I want to enjoy this wonderful life.

And I look forward to the ride!

Where Has All The Time Gone?

Life keeps you busy with tasks that take away from what you truly love…..which for me is my blog.  And while life gets in the way and I’ve always intended to get back on here, it has just taken a little longer than usual.

But thankfully, I have found the time to carve out of my life to get back to what truly makes me happy.

In the time I’ve been away so much has happened and my life has changed….and I have changed.

I ended up finding a job on the last week that my severance was to run out.  Which was a blessing.  It is with a Real Estate Agency.  While I want to love this job, it has turned out to be nothing as was promised or expected.  If you have ever seen “The Devil Wears Prada”, that is my life on an everyday basis.  Me being the Assistant and my boss being the Devil.  I took a huge pay cut, but a girl has got to do what a girl has to do.  While I do not see myself there long-term, it is a paycheck and it gives me a clear idea of how I never want to act when and if I ever own a company.

I should have know what I was getting into when a girl who only works weekends saw me there my second week at work and said “Oh…you’re still here? Boss Spawn From Hell (as she will be called) has gone through three assistants in 9 months!! Not a good thing to hear on your second week of work, but I can see why it was said.

The next big change was I finally moved and found a new place to stay. Not really by choice!! With a cut in pay and having difficulty paying the rent, my landlord thought it was time I found some place new to live. Stress to the max!! But one thing I will say, is he was really nice about it and forgave my past rent and gave me time to find a new place to live and promised to give me good references to my new landlord. Which was a blessing. So in one month, I packed up a huge five-bedroom house, sold many of my personal belongings and found a two-bedroom duplex two miles from my old home. Is has been tiring and trying, but I have now been in my new home since June 30 and couldn’t be happier the way things turned out.

And the last big change was my mother and I decided to share the place together. At first I held off on this because I didn’t want to live with any and wanted to go about living my life with the ability to come and go and not report to anyone. But my mother missed living down here and I really enjoy having her here. She was a big help and savior in all of this. And was with me that last day moving out of my old place as I lugged everything except three large pieces of furniture from 9am Sunday and did not finish moving until 5am Monday Morning. My mom being with me every step of the way even though she was exhausted from her move the day prior.

It will take a little used to having someone as a roommate, but my mother and I discussed our downfalls from when we lived with each other before and think this will work out. It will be good for both of us in the long run, and I am so blessed to have such an amazing woman help me after all I have done to wrong her.

A lot of the same cast of characters are still in my life, and it is funny how they all disappeared when the going got rough. Blue Eyes (yes, him and I still see each other) was nothing but a source of frustration and anger as he couldn’t see why I couldn’t spend time with him during all of this.

The Bartender is still in the picture…but no longer. He ended up becoming a no-show a week before my move and did not offer a thing, even though I woke up early on many of my Sundays off to take him to work when his car died.

Mr. Greenjeans is still hanging around, but again after all his promises of coming to help….go figure, he did not.

The Fisherman and I started to rekindle something, but his constant secrecy made me put a quick end to that.

Mr. New York would have helped and offered words or encouragement, but he is in New York and couldn’t help.

And yes…..TDWF is and has been out of my life since September 2012 when I kicked him out of my car for the last time. So he is finally a moot point in my life.

The only good thing about moving is I have not given any of these people my new landline phone number nor my new address. And they are not going to get it either. They have proven their worth….which equals nothing. After all I have given up for them and done for them, not once was an offer (except by Mr. Greenjeans) ever extended. Being the proud person I am, I didn’t even ask. I paid two guys I found off of Craigslist $75 to move the large things and the rest was up to me and my mother to move the rest. It was hard and laborious…and I even went to work that Monday when I finally finished moving at 5am. But at least I do not owe them anything. Which is exactly how I wanted it.

And my mother was right….they were all quiet the week/s leading up to the move, and the next day after all the texts and called started flying in from all of them. Mothers really know best.

But at the end of the day, I can proud that I did it all on my own without any help from them. Without that hanging over my shoulder and coming back to bite me in the ass.

I hope I can learn that the only people you can rely on are your family and true friends. And not any of these people that I give free passes to on a daily basis. And for what? In the end, it turns out for nothing.

In Honor Of Valentine’s Day

This is the week some people either really love….or really hate.  The dreaded Valentine’s Day!  Or maybe some are just indifferent.

The day where you spend twice the price for a dozen roses and advertisements for diamonds and chocolates are flooded on the airwaves and in newspapers.

I was never one to get swept up in all the grandeur of this “Consumerist Holiday.”  There were times I received Roses to work or a nice dinner, but to me that should be displayed 365 days a year; those little reminders of love.

Last year my Valentine’s plans got disrupted when TDWF decided to reenter my life and I left Blue Eyes stranded.  And for some reason I still have the Valentine’s Card I bought for him alone in a drawer.

This year my Valentine’s Day Package went out in the mail last week to “The Hiker”. Was afraid he wouldn’t get it in time due to the horrendous blizzard that blasted New England.  Even the Postal Service was cancelled, so I know I made the right decision.

But the actual point of this post, is to remind people of the importance of the other 364 days of year that do not fall on February 14.  And one of those happened this weekend.

I was out by my favorite spot on the water; enjoying a cup of coffee and writing.  A beautiful sunset was revealing itself before my eyes and I just needed to snap a picture of it.  When I got the picture to my liking, I posted it on Facebook, with little details of my day.

Nothing like a good sunset!!

Nothing like a good sunset!!

 

A few minutes later, I receive this picture in a text saying “We watched it together!”

We "watched" the same sunset together 300 miles apart.  To me, that is the epitome of "Romance."

We “watched” the same sunset together 300 miles apart. To me, that is the epitome of “Romance.”

Again, it is just the little things that puts a smile to this girl’s face!!  And to make matters better, he is driving down again next weekend so we can be together!!  Things are shaping up quite nicely!!  I’ll just enjoy this and see what the future and distance holds in store for us!!

 

Late Night Musings

Couldn’t sleep tonight, so do what I usually do. Get in my car and drive. Due to the bad weather, I didn’t get far, just to a late night convenience store up the street.

But on my travels, this song by Rihanna came on. One from her that I’ve never heard before. And I thought I heard them all. The words just spoke to me and I sat in my car in my driveway just to listen to the rest.

And it made me think of ‘The Hiker’ and our daily talks about how we can’t wait to see each other. And how it can’t come soon enough. So the lyrics just stuck in my head. On a daily basis he does things to make me smile. And we just sit on the phone in our twice or three times a day conversations and just talk about everything.

Right now he is hundreds of miles away, but we have already discussed a plan for the time being of meeting halfway every month for now. And see where that leads. Maybe look for jobs up in New England? That is a possibility I am thinking about. One that has been discussed. Not unusual since before I said I might want a change of scenery. Who knows what the future will bring.

But it is always good to have possibilities and think outside the box. Right now, nothing is off the table and my options are wide open.

* On a side note, I am writing this on my phone and apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors.

A Place Of Peaceful Respite

My job search took a brief hiatus as my laptop decided it did not feel like working today.  So off to my local Computer Repair Shop for a $200 repair.  Between that and my car breaking down and needing to be towed earlier this week, it has not been a good week for my large-scale items.

What can you do but laugh it off and make the best of it.  And that is exactly what I did.

Knowing my local library has public computers, I traveled there to resume my job search.  Which by the way has been successful with two job offers (which I turned down) and an interview scheduled for next week.

It has been years since I’ve been to the library.  My books are always purchased at Thrift Stores, Flea Markets and Yard Sales.  But the moment I enter, I feel like I’ve been transported to a peaceful oasis surrounded by my favorite things.  It automatically makes me feel 100% smarter as my fingers slide over the books in the Fiction, Non-Fiction and Poetry Sections.

I immediately grab “The Poetry of Robert Frost”; my favorite poet and open it.  It automatically takes me to “The Road Not Taken” and I would like to take that as a sign.  But in reality knowing most people look specifically for his most famous poem as the crisp bound book took me there.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be on traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

 

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that, the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

 

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

 

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

 

Being here reminds me of my childhood where I would spend the whole afternoon at the library.  Having so many books to carry home I thought my arms were going to fall off.

I should take more advantage of what a relaxing and uplifting place the library is.  A place where you can get immersed in different lands, centuries, ideas and points of view all without leaving the comforts of your town.

From this day forward, I need to make a point of not being such a stranger.

 

Why Is This Okay?

Thankfully we live in a society where we know it is not right to be prejudiced and bias of others based on race, religion, sexual preference and gender.  In a world where kids are commiting suicide based on Bullying, gays/lesbians fearful to show their true sexual orientation and people of color still feeling the stings of racism….the lone prejudice that seems to be okay is making fun of people based on their weight.

On the Late Night Talk-Shows, in Magazines and in Movies, the “Fat Guy/Girl” are always the butt of jokes.  And nothing is ever done to quash the pain that is must cause the person who is the target of such attacks.

On Monday Night, Governor Chris Christie, the “Gov” of my great State of New Jersey, was on The David Letterman Show.  I stopped watching Letterman a long time ago when his humor was more “grumpy” and targeted toward specific people and groups that I felt were underserved.  And as often as Governor Christie was the punchline in his weekly “fat jokes”, this man of great honor, decided to show up and be a guest on the show; much to Letterman’s surprise.

This is not going to be a political post and not one where I pledge where my Political Affiliation lie.  But I thought it took courage and humor on his part to partake in a show where he has been blasted on numerous occasions about his weight.

He took it in stride; taking out a donut in the middle of the interview to show he understood the joke and was okay with it.  But was he really?  The man knows he is overweight and I’m sure it is a struggle for him to lose weight based on the type of job he has.  Does he need to be reminded daily and be asked questions on a late-night talk show that he is overweight?  Doesn’t Letterman have better questions and topics to ask? 

Granted, he did steer the interview towards the recovery from Hurricane Sandy and whether he will run for President in 2016, but why was it okay to get into personal detail about this topic?  Would it have been okay for Christie to ask him questions about his dalliances with his female workers and cheating on his wife?  No, it wouldn’t have and those lines of questioning would have made me just as uncomfortable as the questions Governor Christie was asked about his weight.

And then last night on the NBC Evening News with Brian Williams this topic actually made the newscast.  Really?  Don’t people already know and understand that he is overweight?  Do they have to broadcast it as part of their newscast?

I hope soon people will come to the realization that these words are hurtful and shouldn’t be tolerated.  And realize this type of persecution is just as hurtful as making jokes and judging people based on race, religion, sexual orientation, gender and all the other biases that are hurtful and shouldn’t be part of our thinking as a society and culture.

 

Romantacism At It’s Best

Ladies don’t ask for a lot….just a small gesture to know that you are thinking of us.  To me the small Romantic Gestures are the best and bring a smile to my face.

And these small gestures recently are what have brought a smile to my face:

1. Having one of you favorite songs by your favorite artists dedicated to you:

Bruce Springsteen’s “She’s The One”

http://youtu.be/3-8LUvW9qv4

2. Planning a Vacation based on your love of the ocean with pictures of the view sent to you (vacation and airline tickets already purchased for April)

view

Will have a beautiful Oceanside view!!

3. Already planning a 6-hour trip to come visit you because he misses you!!

4. A text waiting for me 10-minutes before my interview today wishing me luck!

5. Calling me around the time he thinks it is over to see how it went!

6. Letting me know to get Deadbolts installed on my doors because he is worried about me living in a big house by myself.

7. Messages throughout the day telling me he misses me.

8. Letting me know he can’t sleep because I’m not there beside him.

9. Texting me to watch my purse while he knows I’m out and about alone because I leave it wide open due to so much crap stuffed in it.

10. Sends me Movie Trailers and other miscellaneous videos of things he think I will like.

I don’t ask for much in any relationship.  Just that they treat me well, are honest and have the best of intentions.  And neither of us saw this coming either, so it has taken us both by surprise.  But I must admit, it is nice.  The above are just small things to show their true intentions and that they care.  I do not want or ask for any grandiose displays.  Never have and never will.

But I am enraptured by the ease and caring of “The Hiker.”  And no matter what happens, I know I will have a friend for life.  And in the end, isn’t that all we can ask for?

 

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